All The Single Ladies (And Guys)

I love me some Perry Noble. Agree or disagree (and I have done both), he is passionate and speaks with conviction about the things he believes God has called him to do and say.

I read his blog. You can read his blog here.
Perry’s church, NewSpring Church in Anderson, South Carolina, is doing a series on singles. You can watch or listen to the messages here.
And you can read Perry’s latest blog post right here, because I thought this was good enough information to copy and pass on to you.
If you’re not single, I bet this would spark a great conversation with somebody who is.
And if you are single?
Think about it.

I/We Should Break Up Because…
Perry Noble

So…we’re in a singles series now (which, by the way, the married people are loving!) This past Sunday I challenged the guys…and this coming Sunday I will be speaking to the girls…and the following Sunday my wife Lucretia will be joining me on the stage for a live Q & A in every service.
One of the questions I often get by guys/girls is how do I know whether or not we should stay together or break up…so…let me throw a few things out there that I hope may be helpful…
I SHOULD BREAK UP WHEN/IF…
#1 – The other person (usually the guy) ceases to pursue me and make me feel special/valuable. (If he is a slacker before marriage…it will be HORRIBLE after marriage!)
#2 – If our relationship is based on sex. (If you are having sex then you are not experiencing true intimacy. SO…when you get married you are going to discover that you have nothing to talk about because you built your relationship with the hay and straw of sexual experiences and not the bricks of self control and discipline.)
#3 – If they are not fun then they’re not the one! (Seriously…if you do not enjoy being with him/her and/ore spending time with them before the marriage…why in the heck would you ever think that you will after marriage? Don’t marry someone that you don’t like–DUH!!!)
#4 – The Holy Spirit is pressing you to end the relationship. (There are SO many people I’ve spoken with that KNOW the Lord is pressing into them to end the dating relationship…but because of their insecurities they just won’t do it. If God is commanding you to give something up that means He has something greater in store. Even though you can’t see it…He can!!! I Corinthians 2:9)
#5 – You KNOW you aren’t going to marry the person you are dating. (Dating was not created to be some sort of hobby/sport. So…when you KNOW that the relationship is NOT heading beyond its current condition…you KNOW that he or she is NOT the person God has for you…END IT! Don’t date someone just so you won’t be alone…this situation ALWAYS goes bad because so many people get married “just because we thought it was the next step!”)
#6 – He/she is always flirting with other people…and/or he/she isn’t faithful to you before marriage. (If they AREN’T being faithful before marriage…they won’t be after marriage either!!!)
#7 – You think, “he/she isn’t who I want them to be…but I can change them.” (PLEASE READ THIS…YOU ARE NOT THE HOLY SPIRIT, YOU CAN’T CHANGE ANYONE!!! God is the ONLY ONE who can change someone…and reality is the reason God may not be changing the person you are with is because you are in the way…and your compromise does not bring that person closer to Christ…it drives him/her away!)

All The Single Ladies (And Guys)

I’m single. And I serve a large church, where a lot of other single people find themselves. We continue to work to find effective ways get single people connected in service and small groups, to find ways to help process and work through the very difficult challenges that men and women face as they recover from divorce or deal with singleness that goes past the age of 30, when it appears that society expects you to be married. Getting connecting, meeting and trusting people? Not always easy. When you have issues stemming from divorce, it can be extremely complicated.
It’s tough. People want to find God, to learn more about serving and growing. But people also want healing, and help, and partnership and connection. Often, single folks just want something to do. Being alone can be very lonely.
It’s a struggle for me, in a position of leadership at church, to know exactly how to best serve folks like me.
I read something today on Kathy Guy’s blog that really helped me understand how a church can best serve single people. Here’s what she has to say to the single folks at their church:
It’s likely that 90% – or at least a bunch of you – are here with the hope of meeting someone of the opposite sex. That’s not an insult or a judgement. It’s understandable and nothing wrong with it. It’s reality.


At the same time, the intent of our group environments is not to provide a dating service.
Our hope is for you to discover more fully how much you matter to God, and we believe that this happens best as you build relationships with each other.

If inside of meeting others, you happen to meet the person of your dreams, well that’s just a big touchdown for you! If you measure your experience based on that, however, you’ll be disappointed. You will have an opportunity to get to know some people, and you’ll start seeing them when you come to church. You’ll feel like you know some people, and it just makes it better.”


Our hope is for you to discover more fully how much you matter to God.
Anything else is a bonus.
That’s a great way to do church.
What do you think?