I am so bad at this.
I try to take a Sabbath and the massive amount of stuff in my life that needs to be managed begins to crowd my thoughts and I start to feel like I’m wrapped up in barbed wire.
When I consider “taking a day off”, my mind loosens up a bit, and the immediate result of the clarity seems to be a fresher approach to work-related stuff. After an hour of “sabbath”, I find myself itching to get back to work, to put to good use the fact that my brain seems to be able to think again.
I know better, of course. I try to run away from those thoughts, reminding myself that they’ll still be there tomorrow.
I have to remind myself, all the time, that He is God and I am not. Isn’t that pathetic, that I have to work to remind myself of that? Duh.
I thought I’d take some time for myself today, maybe use a generous birthday gift and treat myself to a pedicure. But then I remember that I’m wrestling with the idea of generosity and that $25 spent on my feet is ridiculous on so many levels. So maybe I should not do that. And by the way, don’t forget to pay the mortgage. And it’s my Sabbath/day off, so maybe I should clean the bathroom, but that’s not really a day off, is it? But then again, am I entitled to a day of indulgence? There are so many things I let slide in terms of taking care of my home. I should use this time to catch up, to honor my family.
But then again, there’s a difference between Sabbath and a day off.
Kevin Salyer was always so good at this. So – what would Kevin do?
I have decided. Here is what I shall do:
1. Listen to Michael Gungor’s Beautiful Things
as I clean myself
up a bit – NOT the bathroom.
2. Take Elizabeth Berg’s most recent book
; finish it as I do the pedicure thing. See if it feels like an indulgence.
3. Drive to RVA. Hit up the new version of the VMFA
. Soak it up and see what happens.
4. Stop by Martins (my first time) on the way home. Gather groceries. Come home and cook a fabulous meal for my family.
5. Hopefully work out in the midst of all that…somewhere…though that might be a bit unrealistic.
I’m hoping that in the midst of it all, I’ll catch a glimpse of glory.