I am so bad at this.
I try to take a Sabbath and the massive amount of stuff in my life that needs to be managed begins to crowd my thoughts and I start to feel like I’m wrapped up in barbed wire.
When I consider “taking a day off”, my mind loosens up a bit, and the immediate result of the clarity seems to be a fresher approach to work-related stuff. After an hour of “sabbath”, I find myself itching to get back to work, to put to good use the fact that my brain seems to be able to think again.
I know better, of course. I try to run away from those thoughts, reminding myself that they’ll still be there tomorrow.
I have to remind myself, all the time, that He is God and I am not. Isn’t that pathetic, that I have to work to remind myself of that? Duh.
I thought I’d take some time for myself today, maybe use a generous birthday gift and treat myself to a pedicure. But then I remember that I’m wrestling with the idea of generosity and that $25 spent on my feet is ridiculous on so many levels. So maybe I should not do that. And by the way, don’t forget to pay the mortgage. And it’s my Sabbath/day off, so maybe I should clean the bathroom, but that’s not really a day off, is it? But then again, am I entitled to a day of indulgence? There are so many things I let slide in terms of taking care of my home. I should use this time to catch up, to honor my family.
But then again, there’s a difference between Sabbath and a day off.
Kevin Salyer was always so good at this. So – what would Kevin do?
I have decided. Here is what I shall do:
1. Listen to Michael Gungor’s Beautiful Things as I clean myself up a bit – NOT the bathroom.
2. Take Elizabeth Berg’s most recent book; finish it as I do the pedicure thing. See if it feels like an indulgence.
3. Drive to RVA. Hit up the new version of the VMFA. Soak it up and see what happens.
4. Stop by Martins (my first time) on the way home. Gather groceries. Come home and cook a fabulous meal for my family.
5. Hopefully work out in the midst of all that…somewhere…though that might be a bit unrealistic.
I’m hoping that in the midst of it all, I’ll catch a glimpse of glory.