My eye started twitching yesterday. It’s still twitching tonight.
I made an appointment with my friend/eye doctor a few days ago, before the advent of The Twitch. There seems to be some floating things in my eye, just beyond the peripheral of my vision. I know this is somewhat common – I’ve had these things before, but this is something new. And my eye just feels weird; my vision is altered somewhat. It’s just off, you know – when something’s not quite right but there’s no specific way to articulate it.
I had lunch with my friend/coworker Susan today, and I complained about The Twitch.
“I think I have eye cancer.”
She smirked. “It’s a shortage of potassium. Muscles twitch when you don’t get enough potassium. You need potassium.”
I looked at the basket of chips (I was with Susan, so we were, naturally, at El Cerro Azul).
“Can I just eat more chips? Is there potassium in chips?”
She laughed and pointed out the difference between sodium and potassium. Well, she didn’t really point out the difference. She just said that chips were not the solution.
I ate more chips anyway, and made a mental note to pick up some bananas, for the potassium.
At the football game tonight, I stood next to my friend/eye doctor as we watched our sons, who are increasingly inhabiting bodies and mannerisms of men, drill their snare drums and mug for the camera. I said, “Hey, put on your doctor hat for a minute. I’m coming to see you next week for my eye…but right now I’m worried. My eye is twitching. Two days now, twitching. Do I have eye cancer?”
She didn’t even look up from her camera, busy finding good shots of the boys. “Nope. Stress. Lack of rest. Take a nap.”
I told her that I had taken a nap, that very afternoon! And my eye was still twitching!
She didn’t even look at me, or my twitchy eye. “You need more rest. Slow down. Your body is trying to tell you something.”
She went on to talk about some sort of muscle thing. I was fixated on the fact that I had taken a nap, that very afternoon!
From the experts, here’s something you need to know: The only reason your eye will ever twitch is because of stress or fatigue. There’s no other reason, no disease, no issues that make for a twitchy eye.
I bought some bananas anyway. And I guess I ought to go to bed now.