All The Single Ladies (And Guys)

I’m single. And I serve a large church, where a lot of other single people find themselves. We continue to work to find effective ways get single people connected in service and small groups, to find ways to help process and work through the very difficult challenges that men and women face as they recover from divorce or deal with singleness that goes past the age of 30, when it appears that society expects you to be married. Getting connecting, meeting and trusting people? Not always easy. When you have issues stemming from divorce, it can be extremely complicated.
It’s tough. People want to find God, to learn more about serving and growing. But people also want healing, and help, and partnership and connection. Often, single folks just want something to do. Being alone can be very lonely.
It’s a struggle for me, in a position of leadership at church, to know exactly how to best serve folks like me.
I read something today on Kathy Guy’s blog that really helped me understand how a church can best serve single people. Here’s what she has to say to the single folks at their church:
It’s likely that 90% – or at least a bunch of you – are here with the hope of meeting someone of the opposite sex. That’s not an insult or a judgement. It’s understandable and nothing wrong with it. It’s reality.


At the same time, the intent of our group environments is not to provide a dating service.
Our hope is for you to discover more fully how much you matter to God, and we believe that this happens best as you build relationships with each other.

If inside of meeting others, you happen to meet the person of your dreams, well that’s just a big touchdown for you! If you measure your experience based on that, however, you’ll be disappointed. You will have an opportunity to get to know some people, and you’ll start seeing them when you come to church. You’ll feel like you know some people, and it just makes it better.”


Our hope is for you to discover more fully how much you matter to God.
Anything else is a bonus.
That’s a great way to do church.
What do you think?

3 Comments

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  1. Wow. I realllllly like this, friend.

    Like

  2. Ditto! Have a wonderful day of worship, dear!

    Like

  3. Well, my first thought was…here's another post about God & the single folk. 🙂 However, I really did like this.

    I know that coming to a church, finding Jesus, getting your life together, etc can end a relationship real quick. Which can be a great thing esp if that person wasn't the one God intended for you.

    Now, I always thought that once you dug in then BAM! God would just send that significant other right to you…obviously it doesn't work that way.

    I think you have to decide to lay down your wants and just focus on what God wants. It's so hard. But I think it's much harder to keep chasing/scanning/or seeking the latest single male to walk through the church doors.

    It'll happen when it happens…until then…serve, serve, serve. God will handle the details I think. 🙂

    Like

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